Speechless

I have been unable to comment on Traci's post from Wednesday. At first it was that I couldn't figure out where to start, and then nothing I wrote seemed to be enough.
I really was speechless.
To simply say that I was touched or to say thank you in a comment seemed inadequate. Instead we've emailed back and forth about it.

Traci's generousity of spirit is amazing. Here, with her permission, is part of her reply to my thank you...

"Somedays, when you wonder why life has thrown you curve balls, you need to reflect back on what you have learned from all those thrown at you.
In seeing what an influence you had on my life, it can also reflect on the influence you have on all your friends and family.
When the guilt of living,the days when Sarah enters your mind, remember what you gave her while she was here. And cherish it. Those are the moments and things in life that we remember."

I told Jess today, "that Traci, she's a thinker".
I am not always a thinker. I mean, I reflect, but I don't really dissect things, I can be more of a guy in that regard. Mostly life is good, and as long as it stays on track, I don't mess with it. Of course doing it my way means that when life throws you a whammy, and you have to stop and examine things, it's that much harder.
I do think that's part of why my cousin Sarah's death hit me so hard. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about my relationships. Sometimes I honestly can't believe how hard this is. I know it's been hard for so many people & certainly harder for some than for me, but I just can't believe how sad I am about losing her, and how much I miss her.
As I've said here before, I do treasure my friendships, and I appreciate all of the support I've been given. There are two things I say a lot, and I'll say them again. Thank you & I love you.